22 Reasons Why Your Website Sucks

SucksAuthors note: These observations have been assembled based on 18 years as a web developer, Internet marketer, web analyst and project manager. All examples are fictional and meant to be intentionally humorous. The reality is that it’s freaking hard to launch a meaningful website. It takes time, money and patience to get things done the right way. While this article points out particular faults that are made during the process, my hope is that you can use it as a checklist for “what not to do” on your next website launch. This is one of those posts that has been in my drafts folder for some time and while it probably should to stay there, I am publishing it anyway! 

Your website sucks.

I’m sorry that I have to be the bearer of bad news, but someone had to tell you the truth.

Your website is a crime against humanity, an atrocious abomination, a target for Godwin’s law.

It is responsible for both world wars and a lack of peace in the middle east.

Your website makes my eyes bleed, my bowels move and my brain hemorrhage.

And it’s all your fault, because you let it happen.

The mistakes you made along the way are so damning that I want you to read through each of your violations before you issue an apology.

1. Your website sucks because you don’t know the answer to the question “Why are we making this website in the first place?”

The year was 1995. Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise was on the air and after reading about the Internet in a magazine, your company CEO demands that a website is up and running. You get a CTO, a CIO, a C-whatever-O and go to work. [Continue reading]

Career Advice for Advancement #4: If You’re Not Growing, You’re Dying

Highway road going up

Being close to the generation of revenue is safest place to be in most organizations. While a few of us intuitively know that this is true - that making money for our companies will lead to increased job security, it’s not always clear why this is … [Continue reading]

2014 Google Analytics Summit Keynote and Product Announcements

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We are back for another year of the Google Analytics Summit. As we have done in 2012 and 2013, Jeffalytics will be live-blogging the keynote experience and sharing reactions as they happen. One thing to note is that this year not every announcement … [Continue reading]

Career Advice for Advancement #3: Perceptions Are Reality

Perception Reality

The first time I quit my job to start a new business, I was 24 years old and in over my head. I knew that if I kept on doing the right things, I would succeed, but it wasn’t always clear what the right things were. One of the pieces of advice that … [Continue reading]

Career Advice for Advancement #2: Always Live a Year Behind Your Means

Overloaded Piggy Bank

Note 1:  Giving financial advice is a sensitive subject, and I am not a licensed professional. As such, this post is meant to be demonstrative only and should not be considered as me giving you financial advice. Make sure that you consult a … [Continue reading]

True ROI Measurement for E-Commerce Websites Using AdWords, Google Analytics and Excel

True AdWords ROI

This past Saturday I gave a presentation at Measurecamp in London about the topic of ROI. This is something that has been at the top of my mind recently as I have been working on some projects to help paid search advertisers easily determine the … [Continue reading]

Why I will not “do SEO” for you

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This is one of those posts that has been in my drafts folder for some time and while it probably should to stay there, I am publishing it anyway!  I will not “do SEO” for you Not now, not in the future, never again really. Not if you ask me … [Continue reading]

Career Advice for Advancement #1: Understand Profit Margins for Your Business

Profit Margins Interesting Guy in the World

If only I knew this sooner! There have been many times in my career where I found myself saying “if only I knew this sooner - I would be so much better off today!” Surely you have caught yourself saying the same thing in your own career. We all … [Continue reading]

Please Take the 2014 Digital Staffing Survey

2014-Digital-Staffing-Survey

One of the goals here at Jeffalytics is to produce an epic piece of content each quarter of the year. In the past this has lead to studies of the impact of Google Authorship, the Periodic Table of Google Analytics and the Ultimate Guide to Measuring … [Continue reading]

Learn Digital Marketing and Analytics with me in Minneapolis Starting Next Week!

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This post is about classroom teaching that I will be conducting in Minneapolis, MN, USA, so I realize that there is a very niche audience that might be interested in this opportunity. If you are not able to make it to Minnesota, then I won’t be … [Continue reading]

What Drove Traffic in 2013 and How I’m Going About 2014

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I started this post earlier in the week and went in a slightly different direction by publishing a post entitled Writing is Everything For Your Career.  While I’m proud of that post, I also wanted to continue with my tradition of publishing detailed … [Continue reading]